Leap Day...

Once in a while there comes an event that is rare, or at least uncommon. In this case the event is called February 29th. Normally it only happens once every 4 years, but sometimes it's once every 8... (don't ask, I didn't invent it).

Because the Earth takes 365 and 1/4 days to travel once around the sun means we accrue an extra day every 4 years, so the leap year day was added (it would be nice if if was June 31st say, but I digress...). But when it's evenly divisible by 400 (as was the year 2000) there isn't. Again... I didn't invent it! However, part of me wonders where the missing leap days got to (so far it's minor, only 2 days since the Gregorian calendar was implemented, 1600 and 2000, but small adds up over time)?

Anyway, I am not making this a lesson on 2/29 or the insane jealousy I fee for people born on 2/29 that age 1 year every 4 (it makes waiting to drink and vote and drive a car really hard but after that it tends to help out a lot). :-)

Speaking of leaps, I had a bizarre dream the night before last and I am hard pressed to really explain it. I'll skip most of the details, but it was like an out-of-body experience for me at first (like I was a camera filming a documentary). There was something like 'American Idol' where several runners-up (male and female paired, like you'd see in a wedding party). Then the winners (rather like a bride and groom, the girl was in a nice white dress and the man was in a tux) were announced. They stood in between the row of runners-up, the girls to the winners left, the guys to the winners right. They stood in the middle like a bride and groom. Then (hence the title) I was in the woman's body as her name was announced. I was her. I stepped forward and gave a curtsey and waved, thanking the applauding crowd. I then stepped back (hoping I would not tip over in my heels) and the man was announced. As he stepped forward to acknowledge the crowd, I leaped again, back to that roving 'eye of the camera' perspective as chairs were set up and people kept talking about arranging them.

People milled about and were all talking about how everything had to be 'just right'. I remember not knowing what was happening until a woman said (women always have smarts like that) "everything needs to be perfect for when Galvin McLeod and the 'Love Boat' crew arrive."

Seriously.

I have NO idea where that came from. Sure, I had watched it as a kid before the behind the sofa peeping of Ricardo Montalban's liquid oozing and overly creepy appearance on 'Fantasy Island'. It's not like I was stuffing my stockings with DVD copies of'Love Boat' or whistling the tune aimlessly while in the toilet stalls of public bathrooms. I don't serenade people with the lyrics from ancient history when shows were recorded on 1" videotape and often 'spliced' together (quite literally).

The leap was the interesting thing, I was aware that I wasn't in 'a body' of any sort again, but I had seamlessly leaped into the woman's body and was fluid and graceful. It was a nice experience, I thoroughly enjoyed it. Albeit maybe a curtsey wasn't the proper thing to do nowadays, it was in olden times. But since the 'Love Boat' crew was coming (no, I never saw any of them, just the preparations to host/honor them) I supposed that maybe were on a casting call for a remake? Who knows, really (unless I have a sequel dream to it lol)?

Later on, I perceived I had "leaped" again, this time as a male. I was bustling about, trying to find some tissues to blow my nose and I was almost gasping, I couldn't breathe well (I woke up breathing fine). I was drinking some kind of lime juice thing (I think it may have had alcohol in it, but I am not certain) and trying to breathe normally.

Now, if you know anything about dreams (I profess I do not) maybe you can explain a few things to me:

1) The fact that I was having an 'out-of-body' experience - does that mean something?

2) When it came time for the woman to step forward, I was her (and conscious of it because I had seen her stand and step to the line and then I was her and stepping forward to acknowledge the applause) striding forward, curtseying and waving and thanking the audience.

3) The fact that I was so smooth, graceful and able to control myself as a woman, even negotiating in heels with relative ease.

4) The fact that right after, again I was 'out-of-body' and wherever she was I didn't see her.

5) The fact that when I "leaped" into a male body, I was having a difficult time breathing and seeking some salve to make me be able to breathe.

My gut instinct tells me that the female was graceful and accepted because my mind feels that is who I should be. As a male, I struggled to breathe, feeling constricted and fearing I would stop breathing. Does that make sense?

Getting acknowledgement of applause and whatever award I have might have been my minds way of indicating to me that I deserve some sort of acknowledgment of myself in feminine form that is lacking in male form. Could that be true?

The fact that in-between these two events I was again 'out of body' which perhaps might lead me to believe that I deserved some acknowledgment for my female side, being graceful and not hiding but being applauded, the male was behind the scenes, gasping and hidden in a back room forced to seek solace in whatever way they could - and perhaps my mind (or subconscious) had a lot to do with telling me that as a woman I could be more accepted and awarded than as a male.

On the other hand, is it me trying to convince myself now, awake and lucid, that that was what I wanted to see? Hmmmm....

Questions....questions....questions...

I know that in the land of dreams, as vivid and lifelike as they may seem, the mind is wresting itself from the day-to-day onslaught, trying to push questions out of the murk of the what if to the 'reality' of life. Dreaming of being a woman is nothing new. Dreaming very vividly of being a woman and waking in a sad state of disappointment has happened as well. Often I will wake up and wonder is this the day? The day I awake and realize that I am a complete woman? Those having undergone SRS will attest that they felt that way, awakening and realizing that the physical manifestations were correct and having to spend the rest of the time complimenting that with the quintessential inside, because if you only look at the skin, you are ignoring the true value of a person. Beauty is WAY more than skin deep!

So on this Leap Day, I have this compunction to wonder how the journey progresses and what the next big leap shall be. One thing is for sure, it will be interesting, and it won't star the cast of 'Love Boat' :-)

Hugs until next time!