Freedom to Marry! When comes Freedom to Dress?

In a crisp winter morning, twilight just ghosting the sky with a faint gray like an overreaching fog, a small SUV pulls into a parking lot. Two doors open. From one emerges a man ready to head to his office and start the day. The other is a woman, obviously his wife after they share a kiss. She is a lovely lady, wearing a nice business skirt suit.

A pair of eyes look at her, not in the lecherous way that some people do when 'checking out' someone else, but studying, examining, rather like you would clues in a mystery. The eyes watched her walk, wearing nice, comfortable flat shoes, a fabulous looking skirt falling to just above the knees, black nylons and long brown hair streaming down her back. The eyes sense a tiny bit of rush leading to the goodbye kiss, it is cold and she wants to retreat into the car to stay warm in the obviously increasingly ventilated outfit she is wearing. Of course the man is not acutely aware of this and takes his time getting his things. The watching eyes understand her desire to keep warm and smile slightly. She is a pretty sight to behold. She makes the watcher keenly aware that they would, with some practice, be able to transcend that position and be the focus of understanding eyes and not stares.

Yesterday the eyes watched another beautiful lady, dressed similarly to the cold morning woman, her legs reminded the watcher of the legs they had and thought heck, I could look as good that. Well, at least close. Matching legs and she was almost the same height as me (she was wearing heels as any professional woman might choose to do) and despite that I would be a little taller in heels it was almost like looking at what I could be. It was interesting to consider.

Yesterday heralded the Ninth Circuit Court of Appeals ruling on Proposition 8 in California. In ruling it unconstitutional the way is paved for gays and lesbians to marry in the state. It's a step forward for progress.

But let me ask you this... when does it become okay (or legal) for transgender people to use the bathroom they identify with? When does it become acceptable to have laws or acceptance that transgender people have the same rights? To be able to go out, be accepted and not people to be ridiculed, embarrassed or made fun of?

To me, it seems a bit of a double-edged sword. Equal rights ARE important, equal protection under the eyes of the law is as well. But when equality only covers a few people and not all, it's not really equal, is it?

I say it's a wonderful thing, marriage equality, and it has been a long time coming. Detractors say it ruins the traditional family. Well, by making marriage equal for all, will people who are a straight, heterosexual couple be barred from getting married and having children? Not at all. It just gives marriage rights to gays and lesbians, and to an extent bisexual couples. But what of the transgender people?

If it wasn't against the law, we might still have separate water fountains for African-American people. Women night still have to be told you cannot vote. The majority cannot vote on the rights of the minority.

So, that being said, the trans population can't be pigeon-holed into the same class and, dare I say it, caste, as these classes of people that have been afforded equal protection. Interracial marriage is legal. A woman's right to vote is protected. Heck, even alcohol was outlawed and then overturned. It's time that trans rights also came under that umbrella.

See, most trans people live in fear of what will, or could, happen to them as members of society. I believe that gender can't be put up as a black or white issue, a simple matter of you answered True to one question and False to another. Things have developed far past those rigid guidelines.

In my last blog, I wrote how I hoped that openness and acceptance would come from the free dispersion of information. People no longer had to be alone and afraid, as I was growing up, but be able to learn, accept and grow from the times we spent getting to know real people who were going through exactly what we were going through. It was time to take a stand and open up to openness and understanding, not surrender to hate and violence.

This decision, it seems to me, opens the doors to future acceptance and understanding. People need to know that the LGBT population is out there, ready to be heard. The "T" needs to be part of that, no matter what others say we should be. In the closet, living alone and afraid, it doesn't matter. Every step we take to making ourselves more open leads to greater chances that equality will find us too.

I'm not saying this struggle is going to be easy, or smooth, but it's a struggle and isn't anything worth fighting for a struggle? We can't sit by, waiting for a golden rainbow to shine down on us and illuminate what we feel. So we must always remain vigilant and strong, support each other no matter where we are in life or our feelings and accept the truth that gender isn't black and white, but a broad spectrum of colors that highlight wonderful feelings inside.

And like that trans woman who watched the cold wife this morning go about her retinue, so the watcher would want the same freedom, the same excitement, and the same thrill to go out as herself and let no wind or laughter make her cringe and be afraid. She might look pretty good in a skirt suit. She might look nice in a classy pair of heels and a nice female business outfit. She might just look good to eyes watching her as the watcher's eyes looked at another girl.

The winds of change are still blowing...