Some of you know, some don't that I spent the last week watching over 3 very active cats for a friend. I have always had a cat growing up, let me rephrase that: I have always have a cat growing up. A = 1(One).
The cats are friendly to me, they greet me and meow greetings. They rub furniture and my legs. They act so adorable. But once they eat, the dark side comes out. They gallop through the house I am surprised they don't break the sound barrier. They attack each other and chase each other. The words "settle down" have no meaning, nor any effect. It's a fruitless gesture to try. The worst parts are treated to a stint in a closed room for them to settle down and calm their nerves.
This week has given me some pause, truth be told for other things in life you might take for granted. For example, one might decide that some things are stressful and they become not so stressful when you take them into context with other things. I figured this week would be relaxing and relatively care-free. I knew the cats were used to being up early and that was no problem (I get up early anyway). But an increased commute meant I had to plan to leave earlier, have less time when I did finally get home, and then have to contend with two of the three playing a little rough.
I got there Saturday afternoon after they had left and was curious to discover the fiercest one was abjectly afraid of me. She is a very pretty cat, but she is VERY active. She's the feline equivalent of a Dyson vacuum as well. But once feeding time came around she grew fond of me. In other words the threat disappeared when she saw I was not threatening and I was giving them something they wanted. They are not overly affectionate, but to me they weren't really aggressive either. It was a neutral gray area.
So what does this have to do with anything, you might ask?
In the past week I have come across others who are stressed out, circumstances at home, with the family and so on. It's interesting thing. I knew I would be under more of a load at work, since we are short-staffed. But I thought the peace of coming home to three cats and being able to relax, chill out and have some well-deserved dinner were shattered quickly. The fact was that once I stopped at my "real" home I was able to just feel the ebb of relaxation, even knowing how I was going to have to go back and my stomach churned. What if the cats were hurt? What if there was a problem with the house? What if... the list goes on. And my friend was unreachable by any means for a long span of time. The supposed quiet peace of chilling, relaxing, sipping on a cold beverage and unwinding on a comfy sofa in front of a TV... they all vanished. Literally almost like they were the puffy seeds of a dandelion wafting downwind to their new homes. Poof, gone.
The idea that things could be "relaxing" were replaced with the dread, going home to what...? Naturally the female side of me expressed abject concerns for their behavior and I finally called my friend just before they departed. They laughed after I expressed my fears about them. "They are like that, it's fine." Still queasy, I then talked to my friend's partner and there was laughter on the other end of the phone "they are used to being by themselves all day, they will be okay," they said comfortingly. But still my stomach churned, even as I settled down on the laptop to check some email and do a little extra work. I felt the dread of coming home to the furniture in shreds and destruction equivalent to Hiroshima wreaked by the fearsome trio. It was gnawing at me all day. I kept thinking about what they were up to and how I would explain it to my friend when they got home. "See, I know you used to have this structure known as a 'house' but now it's a smoky hole in the ground..." and meanwhile the cats would be on their haunches, grinning madly and smoking cigars, pontificating how I should have been just this little bit more nice to them... perhaps then they might have left one wall standing.The reflection of my fears chewed somewhere into my imagination and I was queasy. The idea that staying with the cats was going to be relaxing was gone. Now I just worried. Since they weren't my cats it made the stress quadruple.
Pets are often a worry, even more so when they aren't yours. You have a permanent lump in the back of your throat.
So thinking back with a fresh mind and clarity of space, I began to wonder if there weren't ways to relieve these stresses. Certainly one way is to dress up and go out for a night on the town. But no matter what they do they come home. Sometimes I go online, with the same dread, someone has had a really bad time and I know they are going to need help. Sometimes the stress just makes you lie in bed, the covers pulled up. It's not an easy solution.
But in thinking back I always remain hopeful that the light at the end of a tunnel is not a train headed back at me. Sometimes it feels like it is. But my fluid nature allows me also to feel a little more at ease, a little more sensitive of the time I need to spend for myself. So I plan some different activities for this weekend to take my mind off of everything, catch up on rest and perhaps just take an evening out.
We can't escape these stressful things, but I am sure going to do my best to avoid them for the next few days! :-)
